We let emotions overwhelm us and fill them with rudeness to those close to us. We often try to repress the emotions and hide them so that they do not break out and see our true selves through masks. We have a choice and a responsibility in the world of emotion. We can choose how we react when an emotion arises and also take responsibility for them.
Choice and responsibility in the world of emotion
Letters on the book became words and from there sentences and then became ideas. In my consciousness, they have perceived something that you momentarily grasp in your understanding, and then it divides and disappears into the depths of obscure words. I struggled with the words and suddenly caught on. I realized! The idea was caught. I can pronounce it out of understanding and not out of memorizing meaningless words and depth. I was very excited. My wife was sitting on the couch opposite. I started telling myself about my insight it was very important to me, and probably it was less important. She was waiting for the couch to be departed so we could go to the dental clinic together. The meeting was not urgent and time did not press. But, even so, she was ready to go and waited for me. More the great insight excited the speech flowed out. But, it did not bother me to see her look up at her watch impatiently. The excitement turned to anger and from there to silence. It’s natural to be angry that my wife is not listening to me.
Negative emotion and positive emotion
Choice and responsibility in the world of emotion. We know two types of emotions. Negative emotion, and positive emotion. We identify with the positive emotion and deny the negative emotion trying to hide it as much as we can. We were taught from childhood not to cry when it hurts us and not to get angry that we are being hurt. The positive emotion is considered a success. Love us when we smile and are happy and pleasant. Love us less, when we are angry, crying, or resentful.
We have learned to identify with the positive emotion and tell ourselves that it is us and indulge in a negative emotion when it appears. We try to educate and control the negative emotion. “Do not be angry” they say on the negative side when we are in the positive role. However, how can one feel feelings of joy, love, and satisfaction without the negative emotions? How can I experience joy in its entirety without experiencing sadness? How do I know how the feeling of success feels without frustration and failure.
Who owns the ball
We are in a kind of give-and-take relationship with reality. Sometimes reality throws us a ball in the form of insult or disrespect. Sometimes, like a ball of a frightening or tense situation, and sometimes we send a ball to others in the form of speech or action. I have a choice. The choice is whether to catch the ball at all. And if I have already caught, I have a choice whether to adopt the ball to the chest or release him. This ball is not mine, it belongs to the one that thrower it. A conscious person is a person who sets boundaries. He is aware of what belongs to him, and what is not his. If anyone else throws something at me it’s his and not mine. I do not have to be offended when I am told something. I do not have to be angry when someone does something I do not like. Most of the time, what I see in the other is behavior that is in myself.
I am a free person I have a choice.
I do not like that my wife does not listen to me, it means that I have something in me that does not pay attention to others. If someone insults me then something in the words he said reminds me of something painful from the past and therefore, I choose to be angry. I do not have to be offended or angry and even if I am, I do not have to hold that anger and insult. By questioning, I can find out what triggered the emotion and in doing so respond differently. I do not have to hand the ball back and insult back. I am a free person I have a choice.
Identification leads to limited belief
We often identify with what people tell us and in doing so we weaken our boundaries. Choice and responsibility in the world of emotion. By staying next to a person who bothers us or weakens us, we allow him to break through our boundaries by identity with that person. We embrace the limited belief of ourselves as flawed and weak. Sometimes we determine our self-image according to the actions, views, and comments of the other. We give him immense power to shape who we are. This is true of all the circles of influence that surround us from the people closest to us to the cashier at the grocery store.
It is my responsibility to choose otherwise
Anger often arises when your expectations do not match the emerging reality. It usually arises as a result of unresolved past precipitates. Wrong worldviews and preoccupation with other people’s issues. We have a choice and a responsibility in the world of emotion. If my wife does not listen to me. It is my responsibility to understand that the anger that arises is not her responsibility, but only my reaction to her actions. It is my responsibility to choose otherwise. Nevertheless, it is not advisable to suppress anger. It is highly recommended that I let the emotion be released not towards a particular object but through techniques of guided imagery, movement, and also shouting to the sky.