Eventually, what do you truly want? You come to my clinic. Sits in the chair and what interests me is “what do you truly want”? I come to a meeting between us without a pre-determined plan of action. I Comes with an open mind. Just listen to you and understand what you want. I’m looking to figure out if I’m right for you as a coach. Is what you want is right for me. Do I fit what you want? I do not have to take care of everyone, and you do not have to practice with me. But, there must be mutual respect between us. As a coach, my ability to create the right intimacy depends on your honest will. You tell me you want to quit smoking. But, you’re still smoking. That means your honest will is different from quit smoking. You enjoy the sense of pleasure that the cigarette gives. So what do you want?
Eventually, what do you truly want?
I’m looking for patterns in your story. The tone of your speech. In your being. Looking for a defense mechanism that each time makes you act against your will. I hear the story and see that there are recurring patterns. I think you are aware of them. You know what’s holding you back. I’m looking for confirmation from you that you know this to be true. Now I want to share with you a quote that Jung said. Carl Gustav Jung was a Swiss psychiatrist and psychoanalyst. He was Belongs to the group of founders of modern psychology. Jung was one of the formulators of the great psychological theories, who left their mark not only on the field of psychotherapy but no less on philosophy, art, and the behavioral sciences for their fields.
"Until you make your subconscious aware, it will run your life, and you will call it fate."
There are two opposing forces in the mind: a conscious force and an unconscious force. What is stronger? In most cases, the stronger one is the subconscious. This part of the mind you are not aware of. As long as he is the dominant one in your life then he controls you and deprives you of choice. Where there is no awareness there is no choice and where there is awareness there is a choice. Here you have the option to choose differently.
Why is it fate?
If you are unaware and do not choose, then the pattern (habit) dominates you. If you are not aware of something then the being will show you the thing that you are not aware of in reality. Which will create more patterns and habits and get stuck in more obstacles along the way. If you tend to get angry situations will be created that will make you angry. If you are prone to a certain addiction the stimulus will constantly appear and challenge you. Some people tend to see the culprit in the world outside of them. They tend to blame their spouse and then their parents. Blame the school, the neighbors, the government, and finally blame God for everything that happened to them. This process leads you to the realization that you need to take responsibility for yourself and stop blaming others. Your net gain is knowing where you are right now and what is stopping you right now. Stop blaming external reality and start fooling yourself, your actions, and their consequences.
"You end up being a puppet of your subconscious. You bend down every time he tells you to."
When you are not aware you lose your ability to choose. Life has given you a free choice. You have the freedom to respond. Choose to respond to what is happening now. If you want to make a process towards what you want it is provided you choose to take responsibility for your life
What does guilt mean?
There is a difference between guilt and responsibility. Guilt says, “That’s the way it is, there’s nothing to do. I’m not good, not talented, not strong.” Guilt is helplessness. A sense of responsibility is power. Taking responsibility for yourself is an act of mental lack that means I am responsible for my reaction to reality. I do not blame myself or others, but I am responsible for my reaction to what is happening now.
If you come out of me from the first meeting and you know the responsibility is in your hands. For me, it is a success.
The sole expression of the will is the doing of man
There are two types of wants: overt will and latent will. The overt desire is “you want to get married.” You’re a little over 40 and still single. I mean, the overt desire is that you want to get married and the implicit desire that you are afraid to get married. My job is to make your subconscious aware. Bring you into a state of choice. When you want something you do it. You eat pizza when you want something like “I want to eat pizza”. Not to do something It is a also a will. Your overt will is to maintain your weight. The latent will is the will not to maintain weight and eat pizza. Latent will tells you that the pizza will give you more pleasure and benefit from it more than maintaining the weight. The latent want tells you not to get married because it is scary and dangerous.
Clarification of the will is to be aware of what is the clear will and what is the latent will?
Every desire has a price tag. I can give you a price tag for all your desire. Do you want to pay the price? Every desire is a contract and as with any contract, there are small letters that you do not pay attention to. Your life is an expression of the tension between the overt and the covert will. When the latent will has more weight than the overt will. In the open desire, you want to get married and go on dates. You are not getting married, because your implicit desire is not to get married. In spirituality the Creator causes us to correct ourselves by trials. If we stand the test we evolve. You purify your desire and receive the abundance from creation.
The first session in coaching practice
The first meeting is my opportunity to create intimacy with you. Create a closeness that allows for exposure and sharing. I give you the safe smear to express yourself. Your job is to contain you and give you a place to grow. I give you a sense that I contain you. I’m here for you. For your benefit.