The wonderful myth of attachment theory

The wonderful myth of attachment theory

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The wonderful myth of attachment theory. The theory deals with the relationship between the young child in his early years. Relationship with the parent or adult caring for him. The child's built relationship to the social world around him and the development of his self-perception. He is born with a built-in need in his mind to communicate with an adult. This attachment experience will determine the child's basic worldview in his development into a mature person. They will influence the formation of deep emotional relationships and relationships in general. Worldviews are what will define an adult's expectations of himself and his style of relationships with the world. Opposite the theory is the theory of temperament which places responsibility on the biological system of man.

The wonderful myth of attachment theory We will ask three questions:

  1. What types of attachment does an adult have?
  2. What is the temperament theory?
  3. The wonderful myth of attachment theory – is it just a theory?

What types of attachment does the adult have?

  • Safe attachment
  • Anxiety-ambivalent attachment
  • Anxiety-avoidance attachment

The wonderful myth of attachment theory - secure attachment

According to attachment theory, defined the adult’s worldview is by the way he or she cares for the parent in his or her early years. A mother who provides warmth and love, yet precision and ability in dealing with the distress of the unborn is the optimal parent who provides a secure attachment. That is, the more there is a balance between the love given by the mother and the education, the greater the chance of normal emotional ability.

Our world operates according to the degree of grace and the degree of justice.

Life gives us grace and limits us to the degree of justice. I mean, if a person eats chocolate and enjoys it. His experience of enjoying the chocolate is a grace that the same person receives from life. If he eats more and more chocolate, finally the pleasure will end and he will experience aching in the form of stomach aches or caries and a feeling of pain. This degree of law is where a person stops himself from eating more chocolate than his degree of pleasure. To limit his desire to experience the same chocolate. In parallel to this, a mother who gives her son warmth and infinite love without the degree of discipline, then she harms the child and causes him harm.
A person who grows up with a parent who successfully balances the degree of love with the degree of education. The same person will develop into a person with high self-esteem, sociable, open who enjoys close ties, trusts the other, and loves to help and care. Such a person will develop close and deep relationships defined by a high level of trust and a low level of jealousy and do not fear the approach or rejection of others.

Anxiety-ambivalent attachment

The wonderful myth of attachment theory defines that a person who grew up with a parent cares that does not balance the degree of love with the degree of training. As a child, he experienced insecurity toward the same parent who cares for her lack of belief in the mother’s openness and taking off her approach. As a baby, he showed an over-activation of the attachment system.
As a child, he experienced an unstable measure between love and education. If she did not know how to give love to the right degree and how to educate to the right degree. Such a person experiences internal conflicts and feels that they are not properly understood or valued. He is prone to delusion, jealousy, and emotional instability. Intimate bonds interest him but are afraid that they will not return love or abandon him.
Such a person builds a defense system for himself. The insecurity he felt as a child is the result of pain experienced by the mother’s imbalance. This defense system provided him with the armor he needed, so as not to feel pain. Often, the defense system gets out of control and instead of performing its role it takes over the person’s actions and prevents him, as in this case from forming a normal relationship with the society around him.

Anxiety-avoidance attachment

Such a person refrains from trusting. He is jealous and does not support his marital system. He does not share his feelings. Avoid dependence on his surroundings and he relies only on himself. He is very worried about intimacy, so he also avoids a romantic relationship. He will not invest in an emotional relationship and so he will not regret it to end.
This case describes that his defense system fooled all of his conduct toward all of his social circles. His insecurity takes away all his energies and leaves him emotionally distressed unable to experience true love and connection.

The wonderful myth of attachment theory - temperament theory

The temperament theory opposes the attachment theory in that it ceases to blame the caring parent and places all responsibility on the person’s biology. In our physiology, there is a system called the sympathetic nervous system. It is a system that begins at the nerve endings and ends in the earlier part of the human brain. It is responsible for the person’s sensitivity to dangerous situations. Like other creatures in the wild. When we identify a dangerous situation we have three options: escape, stop, or fight. The brain rapidly secretes blood and oxygen into the muscular system and increases the heart rate. Our entire system is empowered to deal with a dangerous situation.
The temperament theory argues contrary to the wonderful myth of attachment theory that a child born with an overdeveloped sympathetic nervous system increases the child’s feeling of anxiety and does not depend on his or her relationship with the mother or adult who cared for him.

The wonderful myth of attachment theory - is it just a theory?

As we have already understood, the attachment theory is flawed. It ignored the biological side of the human body and focused only on its emotional side. Man is a complex being. He was born with a certain biological charge that accompanies him throughout his life. He was born to certain parents who raise him according to their emotional and mental abilities. And it also grows in a particular environment from which it is affected. The claim that the character of the adult can be linked to one component or another is a false claim. A man begins his journey with certain charges already at birth. Physiological and mental charges, which are the basis for how he will develop his worldviews. As it grows it is affected by three circles of influence:
  1. The intimate circle of influence
  2. Social circle of influence
  3. Distant circle of influence
The first circle of influence reinforces the wonderful myth of attachment theory. It is related to the close relationship of the growing child with his parents and immediate family. In the social circle of influence, the growing child is influenced by the friends close to him. Influenced by the community in which he grew up. The distant circle of influence is that of television, the internet books that they constitute apply immensely to the crystallized worldview of the adolescent.

In summary

A person’s worldview is formed of several elements. As a result, the wonderful myth of attachment theory is not true in its claim that it places all the responsibility on the caring parent. As one grows older, so does one’s ability to develop. From extremely anxious situations he can reach with the help of study and training to reach clear gratitude. From there develop new worldviews that encourage trust and love. The ability to develop an intimate relationship based on a deep emotional connection.

wonderful myth of attachment theory

Change your perception of riality - Free anxiety management course - Philosophy of anxiety

By Avraham Maor - N.M.C natural medicine counselor/ Life Coach

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